Sister Debbie Smith interviewed
by Philip Davenport, at Bluebell Ward, The Meadows, Stockport, 2009.
Palliative is a very broad word: looking after someone when there is no longer a cure. Anything from two years to two days, a whole range. Palliation is based on care not cure – symptom control to let someone have the best quality of life. To me, it’s searching for the real person, trying to give them control of what’s happening. Their life is coming to an end. They need control if they know what’s happening and need to be given choices; if they don’t know it’s even more complex.
I chose to do this work 15 years ago. A holistic approach is the core - psychological, physical, spiritual – that’s the crux. People are not just a bag of symptoms or tests. Plus, they sit within a family and you talk about it all with an appropriate family member too.
What is a good death experience? In whose eyes, mine or the patient’s? You can make death appear comfy, distress-free, with drugs. But you can also go through this talking. It’s the patient’s experience, it’s their’s, their control. Yes there is such a thing as a good death, listen to what the patient wants. Perhaps my patient wants to go home. It’s not what I would want, but it’s good for him. His decision, his good death experience. Most people die in hospital, but they actually want to die at home and we should support that, recognise it. But the support needs to be there, the family need to be able to cope, or else it won’t be a good death because the family are left with the pain.
Giving a frame to the end of life, a plan of what to do. Providing for all sorts of needs. The end of life tools are important, planning is important. Liverpool Care Pathway is very good example. This area is improving all the time, money is going into it, people recognise it as an important part of care. We’ve all got to die.
This area is our speciality, this thin line between palliative care and long-term care, where you can still correct the correctable. We don’t think, “Oh they’ve gone palliative, we can’t treat them.” But we won’t go to the extremes of care they will in acute. Most people who come here have already gone through that system. We won’t go to the aggressive end of treatment because it’s upsetting to no good result. If someone’s got terminal cancer, say, we give comfort not cure.
It all depends on the patient. Often they don’t know they’re at the end of life, or they might not want to talk about it and you have to honour that. You reflect back, the patient takes the lead and you reflect back. They only go as far as they want, it’s very gentle. Are you the kind of person who likes all the details at once, or do you like a little, bit by bit? Most say the second. Explanation and listening are key. It’s the same with the relatives: “What do you know?” They might be anxious, frightened. They might not have been told much. Might’ve been told there’s more hope than there is. We actually have to tell the truth: “Your mum’s only got a few days.”
It’s definitely a journey, could’ve been going on for years. Many have had surgery, relapse, treatment, relapse, surgery, relapse. Then suddenly it all stops. We can only manage symptoms. Some people are very accepting, they don’t like it but they accept. Some people ask you to end it. Most talk openly to us about it, but they’re a bit more guarded with the families because they don’t want to upset them. We work closely with chaplains, volunteers, consultants – it’s a team effort. The staff can get upset too and we support each other.
We get sent ‘symptoms’ and we give them back their life for a time. We give them quality. They might have a few days when they can appreciate their family, their memories, their time. It depends on how you look on things; my cup is half full. At the end of life there’s a lot we can do. If it’s your last week of life and you sit out there with a cigarette and a beer, or you get to see your dog, you have a better life for that time.
It’s not all doom-gloom, we have a lot of fun here, a great atmosphere. There’s a man in here right now interested in perpetual motion and his wife’s brought all his stuff in, bolts and screws all over the floor. I don’t mind. People bring in takeaways. We had a bellydancer and one chap, his eyes nearly fell out of his head.
Communication keeps it all together. And it’s not what you say, but how. And it’s even more important what the patients say to you. Or what they don’t say; body language. Very often they lose eye contact if they’re scared. It’s opening a can of worms, but I always step in and talk about it.
Who copes? People who have had adversity – for instance, chaps in the war – people who have dealt with that cope. They seem to be more accepting. Sometimes people with a faith cope better. But beyond that, who can generalise? You’ve not dealt with this before, there’s no set rule. People who are well-informed and up to speed handle things better – they have control. If they can advance plan, they still feel it’s their life. People who have been kidded along or misled can’t get beyond anger and the whole thing is difficult to accept. More informed people have less damaging emotions to get over. Same with relatives, they don’t need to go through some collusion where no one talks about it, it’s more open.
There are myths about palliative care, that it must be miserable. It’s not, it’s an honour, a privilege. We have a lot of laughs, when it’s appropriate. I hope someone will be there for me like this, at the end of my life. There are a lot of myths about death itself, people think it’s scary, sinister, because we are a death-denying society. It’s denied, behind closed medical doors. People paint black pictures, but I think it’s becoming more open.
The right to die. I’m a member of Dignity – I think if you have an incurable illness, I think you should have a right to choose. Shouldn’t have to go to Switzerland or wherever. Also, that a family won’t get prosecuted. In Holland it’s physician assisted, in Switzerland people pick up the pill itself. But palliative care dying will create far less stress symptoms; someone can die with dignity if its done well, properly.
What have I learnt from all this? Can’t put it into words. What people have shown me is the fantastic dimensions to the human spirit. People never, ever cease to amaze me. It is a privilege to be there at someone’s death, and to do it properly you have got to give of yourself. It’s important to get it right. You only get one chance to do it right, or it stays with the relatives. Because the memory of those who have died lives on in us who are alive.
