Wednesday 31 March 2010



One of the delights of putting together a new collection- whether its for a book (as in this case) or an exhibition, is re-visiting and re-finding artwork. Here is an example I just found:

It is'nt the coffin
that carries you off
its the coffin they carry
you off in.....


a wonderfully naughty bit of re-labeling on an old medicine container.

Tuesday 30 March 2010

all infection this sun sucks up


Had we but world enough and time it's the
End of the line for our favourite party
The jaws that bite the claws that catch
Long of face and short on patience
Hand in hand the edge of the sand
Harbours in this parched city

Hairs be wires, wires to her head
Essential maintenance for the dead
This anger lady is no crime
You’d rather be stealing breath than
Saying:
Amen to all men, amen.

Theresa Daulby
2006

atom split
David Smith 2008

yearby yearning



sitting looking out
the windowaiting
for them to comehurry up
hurry up
minutes
hours
days
it seems
forever
Pauleen Eaton
2007


yearby yearning © Lois Blackburn 2010

golden lads and girls



they look like me
but
not
of
limb
the girls of summers gone
they look like me
but aren't
like me:
age it's


a different youth


age:
an old man loved is winter flowered
look at me child
of flesh but
not of brain
they know
such
a lot
of things these days



May Ferris

The boredom

the b o r e d o m
the nothing-to-do nothing-
to-do
there’s nothing real
until
company




Gladys
27th October 2006

simple questions


always a good memory
very
important
to
think:

remember
something more
losing your parents
your wife
that you never forget

going to school
going to communion
playing football
nothing really
simple questions

certain things
stick
earliest un-forgotten
in the front room
in my mum's arms

all
simple when you know the
answers
remember them today
forget tomorrow's memory



anon
24th Nov 06

A nearly man


I don't look in the mirror
only when I can't avoid it
every
other
day
when I shave

when I was younger
when I used to go to the dancing
bryllcreme on my hair
I had hair then
Old Spice
dab on

thats what we used to do
get ponced up
my features
altered
with
years

I've always been a nearly man
just
an ordinary Joe
a nearly this
a nearly that
I used to think I was

good at my job
I was a gardener-painter
a nearly man
ordinary Joe
in the street
I'm leaving

certain things
certain things denied
in your life
you don't tell
when you wake up at night
you go back

you go back to the war
to the POW camp
when the daylight's
not broken
through
go back years

waiting to sleep again
your wife snoring
next the marches
the POW camps
being captured
the treatment

yesterday gone
tomorrow's out of sight
the next day does not come
time's your own ambition
you are free
not tied to

your life
certain things
certain
things
you don't tell
a nearly man ordinary Joe

Harry Wantling
October 2006

The giant city awakes



The giant city awakes but
I am going down the pan
I have lied and cheated
my way through life
truth breaks through

Hilda Hewitt
2008

Friday 26 March 2010

Switching your thoughts



Whilst drawing with a patient last week, I asked for her response to the terms:

Anger

What’s the use of being miserable? Am I being frivolous? Just plod on and take what comes… get a bit uptight but not angry. If you get a bit uptight, it affects other people, you get snappy with them.

Bargaining

Switching your thoughts to suit other people, to get what you want.

Depression

I don’t get depressed, I get cross. Its hindering me and my nerves do this when things tidderling me. I get fed up but I’m not depressive. When you get fed up you get cross, when you get depressed you get miserable. All that’s making me cross is being stuck in here. Can’t be doing nothing.


Anon
March 2010

Wednesday 24 March 2010

now my genius has gone


the brain in its
skull-like maze
now my genius has gone
it’s difficult to say
describe everything, list everything

lost everything
(want it back)
can’t remember why I’m here
memory caught in a trap
it stiffens

spaghetti maze
fingers thick
disturbed at all times
keep building roads at the end of a whip
people say they know me

I wonder at it
puzzled, caught in a trap
now my genius is some worthless song
I use a lever a little
and it comes back.

Group
speak poem
12-16 March 2010

Relief

“You deal with pain in your own way.” anon 2008
Some get through with determination, others distract themselves. Some focus on the pain (willing it to get worse in some cases helps to reduce it) some people pray, some people take the drugs offered. Others shut down mentally, still others find that creativity can help to put their troubles outside themselves – for instance, writing or drawing can be a blessing. Often pain seems to come in different guises day-to-day and needs to be met differently.




Relief, yeah relief relief
very much so
a medication to ease
then you can carry on
marring the pain
a blanket over

when you get the pain
you drop right down

say you're standing on a stepladder
then you
drop
take the medication
and you're back on the ladder


anon
17th October 2008

mary/margaret

illness is change
chance
not accepting
a throw of the dice
I’m OK/you're OK
I'm going to live
you too
will not abolish illness
don’t fight
allow it in
be alright here
they’re looking after heaven's latchkey
looking after all the time
a paradise
will not abolish
see them everyday nurses
angels
angelas
feel looked
down up/on
looked after
one of the most important things
I’m glad
Ive got
pair of dice, we
(mary margaret)
the wings to fly to heaven
well looked after
they’re doing their best
couldn’t wish a better
chance angel


Mary, Margaret
31st July 2009

Tuesday 23 March 2010

be patient




many patients
aren’t patient
if there’s waiting to be done
take your turn at

patience
nurses can’t give
everyone time
undivided

the vale of years turns
take turns to be patient, wiser
the main answer
what wound healed but by

patience visits
sits quiet with my own thoughts
I call myself
a quiet person

was a dressmaker
if a stitch went wrong
I set it right
in two words, two small words

Margaret Hargreaves

October 2009

Monday 22 March 2010

Stepping Hill Hospital at Night (after Vosnesensky)


coughing at night

other breathing at night

people tend

droning to sleep

quietly

nurses’

footsteps

low light faces

the television

an adventure

of dark blue glass

constant

quiet breath engine

in their beds

three or four

calmed

safe



people

moving that’s the thing

I want to hear

people

X-ray photos of the soul

lonely

speak to me with dark tongues

lone

night

yawning




Ralph Starmer and Keith Philips

Stepping Hill

Saturday 20 March 2010

my message is to you


hope is your life
together we
hope
each looks after each
friendly nurses speak
look for
hope is swift exchange
my tablets my routine
hope for this
take pills like new ideas

swallow
hope
I listen to children’s advice
swallow’s wings
get on with life’s hour
accept
strokes hearts bowels propaganda
each other
what journey you’re facing
and what hope

do you get?
(would you like to join our discussion?)
everyone’s lonely in their own
true journey
hope is swift
can’t take it out
can’t shove it away
we’re all
in the end
swallow’s wings.

Group
Cherry Tree Hospital
2009

Monday 15 March 2010

o lovely walls


seven months sorrow
been seven months
(o lovely walls!) its been hectic
times seven
nurses change the speed

lively nurseschange beds, lives
coming to you bones groan
brain on top spine down the back

I don’t have time for please
change the speed of the day

doing you good
change your window speed
good-doers do-gooders
throw your body puking
sorrow eat my body

the nurses change


anonymous
Stepping Hill Hospital
2008

Wednesday 10 March 2010

patient quotes


We're putting the finishing touches to our end of year report at the moment, here are some examples of quotes from the hospitals used in the report....


If someone like you gives a bit of hello, it gets the day going on nicer… One thing leads to another with people, they’ve all a little tale to tell. They’re lonely. Time that’s the stumble-block. Do a bit of chit-chat in between and it brings things on a little.” Grace Smith


People are substantially the same and culture is our local expression.” Louis Marks


A book of hospital poetry (describing patients’ experiences)? I think the product would be of immense use to patients and doctors… to focus on something of this kind where arts and health are breaking out into new ground is fantastic.” (Dr Steve Watkins)


Nice pictures, poems, stories from others - Yes! Useful for people who are just coming into hospital… What to expect if there’s a downfall and how to accept it before the up-fall comes.” (Doreen Jones)


Poems and all – they help people. Sharing personal experience of people helps others.” (Marjorie Rayner)


This is a miracle.” (Joyce Mack)

Tuesday 9 March 2010

Care of Nurses


I’ve seen a complete deterioration in care of the caring profession in terms of how well they are looked after by the administration - no place for staff to go and have something to eat. When I trained and you were on night duty you could go and have the same half hour off the ward as you would during the day. And a proper meal cooked in the middle of the night, now often they don’t have the opportunity. If you’re not looking after the staff, how are they going to be giving of themselves?

Staff rooms in the early days, doctors taking tea with Sister, and Sister had a big room and literally everyone could sit round and have tea. And where would you get that now? The staff are in cupboards, and they complain then about lack of communication between disciplines; doctors and nurses, or nurses and physios – but you have no means, no theatre.

Alison Creed. Retired

Monday 8 March 2010

Life events (and difficulties)

Recently I had a wonderful opportunity to interview Alison Creed. Alison has a background in medicine and the arts and unique personal insider experience of the following health conditions:


Cancer, osteoarthritis and hip replacements

I don’t define myself by that one episode of illness. I’m aware meeting people who were being treated that they could see this was going to dominate their future, beyond their recovery. I have just reached over 5 years since my recovery, which is supposed to be some sort of milestone. With different cancers you get into different statistics about chances of survival.

I am aware things can happen just out of the blue. At the age of 21 I was in a car with my parents going to see my brother. We were in a very bad car accident, from which my parents ultimately both died. So I’m aware, things happen, that’s my attitude. And cancer is just one thing that can happen. You have to deal with things as they come along. Life goes on.

I think some people have a lot of luck and some a lot of misfortune. This feeds into life - how people approach things. I think there are people who are born optimists; I believe in nature not just nurture, but I don’t think it’s a static thing.

There have been debates recently around positive thinking.

Going for treatment for cancer, I was really sick, nauseated and sick. I know if I had a recurrence, I would want to be able to say no, I don’t want to go on with treatment. It’s important for people to talk about death and dying. The modern concept of a good death is like the ‘think positive’, like you can control everything - but you can’t. Things happen out of the blue.

Cancer wasn’t spoken about at all; it’s changed; it’s much easier to talk about it now.

I’ve had my two more recent episodes of what people may call ill health - episodes with osteoarthritis which led to hip replacements. This is speculation, but do people focus so much on cancer as it happens throughout adulthood? whereas people have a concept of age appropriate ill health...(like arthritis) Now you can hope that a hip replacement may last you up to 20 years or more.

The genetics of it: my grandmother died when I was three of breast cancer, and my sister had it when she was 38. There are different sorts, we have no idea what sort my grandmother had, and my sister and mine were different, but the geneticist suggests that our daughters from their mid 30s onwards, do have mammograms regularly.

When you have been in medicine, you can think of umpteen things that are worse.

Cancer, I was told it takes a year out of your life for the cancer and the treatment thereof, I would say that’s absolutely accurate. People’s approach to things differs; with radiotherapy, some see it as causing them lots of difficulties. For me it was a doddle – it’s just how your body reacts to things.

I would say I didn’t have any pain, the only thing was being sick. The thing that people fear, which causes the dread about it, is the fear of pain. In particular the bone secondaries create a tremendous lot of pain. People fear not being able to cope with it and unfortunately have seen relatives go through this and not have their pain controlled adequately. For some people it’s their own pain of losing their relatives, or seeing them in distress, that’s projected onto the patient. With the hospice movement, people ought not to be in pain. It can be controlled, unfortunately there aren’t enough people skilled enough in pain control, so it’s a legitimate fear. Certain cancers tend to have certain types of secondaries, early diagnosis is very important. Certain cancers, such as melanomas though, pretty much as soon as they are spotted, they have invaded.

The whole language is loaded. Its interesting in obituaries they talk of battles, sometimes I think its not what the patient might have felt, sometimes it’s the relatives’ battle with their own pain, what they’ve seen of suffering or preparing for loss.

(Lois: “I understand that for a lot of women, the loss of a breast, can be worse than the cancer itself”)

The alteration of body image, a physical removal of parts of your body, or with Chemo, the loss of hair. For myself I wondered how I would approach it, I had extremely long hair, it was part of my body image - so I prepared myself by having it cut short. It was a practical thing too, as to have great long strands of it falling out is highly inconvenient. As for the mastectomy business, I have never gone along with this increasing single focus on the breast in western society as sexual rather than also functional, as mammary organs. As it was, I didn’t have to have a mastectomy, I had a surgeon who was very concerned about the aesthetics thereof, but to me it didn’t matter at all. There is the aspect of your partner’s approach to it, you can’t divorce that from it. I didn’t find the hair loss difficult, and the short hairstyle I’ve kept afterwards, people said it took 10 years off me!

There are a whole lot of support networks if you wish to access them, I have never used them due to my own attitude to ill health, I don’t see it as a dominant thing in my life.

It’s much easier to have the cancer yourself, than to see someone else with it.

It’s interesting the part faith might play in peoples approach to it, I regard myself as an atheist. When I was being treated for cancer, people in the village would say, ‘I’ll pray for you’ and that’s a nice expression from some people, its giving a sort of gift in their terms.

With cancer, you see people alter in front of your eyes, weight loss and so on.

I had a useful tip from another patient, pins and needles in your feet - a side effect that you might keep after recovery. I have numbness in my toes, but how important is that? There are practical tips, but I know from the caring profession, you don’t tell everything as then people will feel it, whereas before perhaps they wouldn’t - a placebo effect, but the other way round.

I was very lucky being treated at Christies- who have the expertise. I had an oncologist, who was a fantastic researcher, but who had zero bedside manner. In terms of support there were two breast cancer nurses and they were fantastic. But I’m not backward in accessing what’s there, and would go out and look for it.

I was a classic case of being picked up by routine mammogram. When I got the letter for a recall - I knew and found it straight away.

Interview between Lois Blackburn and Alison Creed Feb 2010

Thursday 4 March 2010

night pains



I feel tight

feel clempt closed

always thinking trying

nighttime terror couldn’t tell you

a bit of a trouble-ful night

pains


hospital comforts: the beds are alright

the nurses are alright

the specialist said, “I can operate but…”


furious winter is in our stars


all the time many a time

I m always trying to look up

a-wondering what

to think of life itself

a bit of a trouble-ful night

pains


they do damn good work

specialist saved my legs for me

he was practically dancing


hope is a lot of things


group

Cherry Tree

2007

Tuesday 2 March 2010

parachute landing in jungle terrain



I’ve seen me whack
done me jumps
floating down Egypt Cyprus Malaya

that tattoo says in memory of Mitch
killed in Malay jungles
a tattoo that hurt me
I’ve killed and I’m not proud of it
(or they’d kill you
prisoner of war – whatcha gonna do?)

ever tried to pack a parachute?
bloody handfuls
like trying to get a bed into a pillow

they won’t let me out of here
told me straight I’m not for getting out
driven to die
very very very very
bored in the brain
so bored it’s ridiculous
bored to the ears

these wards are in lost time

landing in jungle terrain
we laugh
butterflies

what’ll we do after the war?
lost a lot of weight
don’t know if I’ll get a visitor
my wife died and I didn’t go to the funeral
I’d jump
to go as I want
even prisoners are allowed to
walk to the great door

parachute regiment I’d jump again tomorrow
you worry til it cracks out
cracks out open and you’re floating

down
down
down

Albert Burrows
Cherry Tree
2007

Monday 1 March 2010

football



stanley matthews georgie best nobby stiles sammy much roger byrnes busby babes in packs in a set players 10 or 20 cigarettes on the back their age height history wifeswaps then in germany in munich early morn the takeoff

I do as best I can I do the journey from here to there is no different to any other journey more’s the difficulty is keeping your friends cos you cant get out the wheelchair

known as the munich crash the ground frosted fog photos of them on the runway matt busby sandy busby the son (good at spending money) when they emerged the babes were near unbeatable on £15 a week put edwards on he could cream the lot dog them clobber them sort em out

you cant get out the wheelchair and start getting angry telling the fellow where you want to go well lets say it does make you feel you’re not getting anywhere it’s just a question of administration

stanley matthews turned up at 8 in the morning running barefoot feels free blackpool sands (soak your feet in cold water you’ll walk a million miles) georgie best kidded the goalie banged it a brilliant shot but he done himself in daily brandy-soaked

you feel limited in the weight of this you’re not designing the journey the other person is I was an apprentice pro blackpool fc loved every minute gave back every penny

the footballs were heavier then leather soaked in rain describe a great god the best he was a tippler of everything two or three wives he had so many women over the weekend hundreds seen him train in the park a dangerous man a danger

you’ve got to be determined to stay alive otherwise this world will see you off falling into chaos somebody needs to mop the world up nurse sort the ends out I’m sat in a chair thinking literature I cant express

re-match: duncan edward he was only 19 in munich on the runway play was awhile ago you’ll hear them you’ll hear them a mile away no problem just a trick of the foot.

Allan Whittaker, Frank Wigley

Cherry Tree Hospital

2007