Pauleen Eaton
many patients
aren’t patient
if there’s waiting to be done
take your turn at
patience
nurses can’t give
everyone time
undivided
the vale of years turns
take turns to be patient, wiser
the main answer
what wound healed but by
patience visits
sits quiet with my own thoughts
I call myself
a quiet person
was a dressmaker
if a stitch went wrong
I set it right
in two words, two small words
Margaret Hargreaves
October 2009
coughing at night
hope is your life
together we
hope
each looks after each
friendly nurses speak
look for
hope is swift exchange
my tablets my routine
hope for this
take pills like new ideas
swallow
hope
I listen to children’s advice
swallow’s wings
get on with life’s hour
accept
strokes hearts bowels propaganda
each other
what journey you’re facing
and what hope
do you get?
(would you like to join our discussion?)
everyone’s lonely in their own
true journey
hope is swift
can’t take it out
can’t shove it away
we’re all
in the end
swallow’s wings.
Group
Cherry Tree Hospital
2009
seven months sorrow
been seven months
(o lovely walls!) its been hectic
times seven
nurses change the speed
lively nurseschange beds, lives
coming to you bones groan
brain on top spine down the back
I don’t have time for please
change the speed of the day
doing you good
change your window speed
good-doers do-gooders
throw your body puking
sorrow eat my body
the nurses change
We're putting the finishing touches to our end of year report at the moment, here are some examples of quotes from the hospitals used in the report....
“If someone like you gives a bit of hello, it gets the day going on nicer… One thing leads to another with people, they’ve all a little tale to tell. They’re lonely. Time that’s the stumble-block. Do a bit of chit-chat in between and it brings things on a little.” Grace Smith
“People are substantially the same and culture is our local expression.” Louis Marks
“A book of hospital poetry (describing patients’ experiences)? I think the product would be of immense use to patients and doctors… to focus on something of this kind where arts and health are breaking out into new ground is fantastic.” (Dr Steve Watkins)
“Nice pictures, poems, stories from others - Yes! Useful for people who are just coming into hospital… What to expect if there’s a downfall and how to accept it before the up-fall comes.” (Doreen Jones)
“Poems and all – they help people. Sharing personal experience of people helps others.” (Marjorie Rayner)
I’ve seen a complete deterioration in care of the caring profession in terms of how well they are looked after by the administration - no place for staff to go and have something to eat. When I trained and you were on night duty you could go and have the same half hour off the ward as you would during the day. And a proper meal cooked in the middle of the night, now often they don’t have the opportunity. If you’re not looking after the staff, how are they going to be giving of themselves?
Staff rooms in the early days, doctors taking tea with Sister, and Sister had a big room and literally everyone could sit round and have tea. And where would you get that now? The staff are in cupboards, and they complain then about lack of communication between disciplines; doctors and nurses, or nurses and physios – but you have no means, no theatre.
Alison Creed. Retired
Recently I had a wonderful opportunity to interview Alison Creed. Alison has a background in medicine and the arts and unique personal insider experience of the following health conditions:
Cancer, osteoarthritis and hip replacements
I don’t define myself by that one episode of illness. I’m aware meeting people who were being treated that they could see this was going to dominate their future, beyond their recovery. I have just reached over 5 years since my recovery, which is supposed to be some sort of milestone. With different cancers you get into different statistics about chances of survival.
I am aware things can happen just out of the blue. At the age of 21 I was in a car with my parents going to see my brother. We were in a very bad car accident, from which my parents ultimately both died. So I’m aware, things happen, that’s my attitude. And cancer is just one thing that can happen. You have to deal with things as they come along. Life goes on.
I think some people have a lot of luck and some a lot of misfortune. This feeds into life - how people approach things. I think there are people who are born optimists; I believe in nature not just nurture, but I don’t think it’s a static thing.
There have been debates recently around positive thinking.
Going for treatment for cancer, I was really sick, nauseated and sick. I know if I had a recurrence, I would want to be able to say no, I don’t want to go on with treatment. It’s important for people to talk about death and dying. The modern concept of a good death is like the ‘think positive’, like you can control everything - but you can’t. Things happen out of the blue.
Cancer wasn’t spoken about at all; it’s changed; it’s much easier to talk about it now.
I’ve had my two more recent episodes of what people may call ill health - episodes with osteoarthritis which led to hip replacements. This is speculation, but do people focus so much on cancer as it happens throughout adulthood? whereas people have a concept of age appropriate ill health...(like arthritis) Now you can hope that a hip replacement may last you up to 20 years or more.
The genetics of it: my grandmother died when I was three of breast cancer, and my sister had it when she was 38. There are different sorts, we have no idea what sort my grandmother had, and my sister and mine were different, but the geneticist suggests that our daughters from their mid 30s onwards, do have mammograms regularly.
When you have been in medicine, you can think of umpteen things that are worse.
Cancer, I was told it takes a year out of your life for the cancer and the treatment thereof, I would say that’s absolutely accurate. People’s approach to things differs; with radiotherapy, some see it as causing them lots of difficulties. For me it was a doddle – it’s just how your body reacts to things.
I would say I didn’t have any pain, the only thing was being sick. The thing that people fear, which causes the dread about it, is the fear of pain. In particular the bone secondaries create a tremendous lot of pain. People fear not being able to cope with it and unfortunately have seen relatives go through this and not have their pain controlled adequately. For some people it’s their own pain of losing their relatives, or seeing them in distress, that’s projected onto the patient. With the hospice movement, people ought not to be in pain. It can be controlled, unfortunately there aren’t enough people skilled enough in pain control, so it’s a legitimate fear. Certain cancers tend to have certain types of secondaries, early diagnosis is very important. Certain cancers, such as melanomas though, pretty much as soon as they are spotted, they have invaded.
The whole language is loaded. Its interesting in obituaries they talk of battles, sometimes I think its not what the patient might have felt, sometimes it’s the relatives’ battle with their own pain, what they’ve seen of suffering or preparing for loss.
(Lois: “I understand that for a lot of women, the loss of a breast, can be worse than the cancer itself”)
The alteration of body image, a physical removal of parts of your body, or with Chemo, the loss of hair. For myself I wondered how I would approach it, I had extremely long hair, it was part of my body image - so I prepared myself by having it cut short. It was a practical thing too, as to have great long strands of it falling out is highly inconvenient. As for the mastectomy business, I have never gone along with this increasing single focus on the breast in western society as sexual rather than also functional, as mammary organs. As it was, I didn’t have to have a mastectomy, I had a surgeon who was very concerned about the aesthetics thereof, but to me it didn’t matter at all. There is the aspect of your partner’s approach to it, you can’t divorce that from it. I didn’t find the hair loss difficult, and the short hairstyle I’ve kept afterwards, people said it took 10 years off me!
There are a whole lot of support networks if you wish to access them, I have never used them due to my own attitude to ill health, I don’t see it as a dominant thing in my life.
It’s much easier to have the cancer yourself, than to see someone else with it.
It’s interesting the part faith might play in peoples approach to it, I regard myself as an atheist. When I was being treated for cancer, people in the village would say, ‘I’ll pray for you’ and that’s a nice expression from some people, its giving a sort of gift in their terms.
With cancer, you see people alter in front of your eyes, weight loss and so on.
I had a useful tip from another patient, pins and needles in your feet - a side effect that you might keep after recovery. I have numbness in my toes, but how important is that? There are practical tips, but I know from the caring profession, you don’t tell everything as then people will feel it, whereas before perhaps they wouldn’t - a placebo effect, but the other way round.
I was very lucky being treated at Christies- who have the expertise. I had an oncologist, who was a fantastic researcher, but who had zero bedside manner. In terms of support there were two breast cancer nurses and they were fantastic. But I’m not backward in accessing what’s there, and would go out and look for it.
I was a classic case of being picked up by routine mammogram. When I got the letter for a recall - I knew and found it straight away.
Interview between Lois Blackburn and Alison Creed Feb 2010
I feel tight
feel clempt closed
always thinking trying
nighttime terror couldn’t tell you
a bit of a trouble-ful night
pains
hospital comforts: the beds are alright
the nurses are alright
the specialist said, “I can operate but…”
furious winter is in our stars
all the time many a time
I m always trying to look up
a-wondering what
to think of life itself
a bit of a trouble-ful night
pains
they do damn good work
specialist saved my legs for me
he was practically dancing
hope is a lot of things
group
Cherry Tree
2007
I’ve seen me whack
done me jumps
floating down Egypt Cyprus Malaya
that tattoo says in memory of Mitch
killed in Malay jungles
a tattoo that hurt me
I’ve killed and I’m not proud of it
(or they’d kill you
prisoner of war – whatcha gonna do?)
ever tried to pack a parachute?
bloody handfuls
like trying to get a bed into a pillow
they won’t let me out of here
told me straight I’m not for getting out
driven to die
very very very very
bored in the brain
so bored it’s ridiculous
bored to the ears
these wards are in lost time
landing in jungle terrain
we laugh
butterflies
what’ll we do after the war?
lost a lot of weight
don’t know if I’ll get a visitor
my wife died and I didn’t go to the funeral
I’d jump
to go as I want
even prisoners are allowed to
walk to the great door
parachute regiment I’d jump again tomorrow
you worry til it cracks out
cracks out open and you’re floating
down
down
down
Albert Burrows
Cherry Tree
2007
stanley matthews georgie best nobby stiles sammy much roger byrnes busby babes in packs in a set players 10 or 20 cigarettes on the back their age height history wifeswaps then in germany in munich early morn the takeoff
I do as best I can I do the journey from here to there is no different to any other journey more’s the difficulty is keeping your friends cos you cant get out the wheelchair
known as the munich crash the ground frosted fog photos of them on the runway matt busby sandy busby the son (good at spending money) when they emerged the babes were near unbeatable on £15 a week put edwards on he could cream the lot dog them clobber them sort em out
you cant get out the wheelchair and start getting angry telling the fellow where you want to go well lets say it does make you feel you’re not getting anywhere it’s just a question of administration
stanley matthews turned up at 8 in the morning running barefoot feels free blackpool sands (soak your feet in cold water you’ll walk a million miles) georgie best kidded the goalie banged it a brilliant shot but he done himself in daily brandy-soaked
you feel limited in the weight of this you’re not designing the journey the other person is I was an apprentice pro blackpool fc loved every minute gave back every penny
the footballs were heavier then leather soaked in rain describe a great god the best he was a tippler of everything two or three wives he had so many women over the weekend hundreds seen him train in the park a dangerous man a danger
you’ve got to be determined to stay alive otherwise this world will see you off falling into chaos somebody needs to mop the world up nurse sort the ends out I’m sat in a chair thinking literature I cant express
re-match: duncan edward he was only 19 in munich on the runway play was awhile ago you’ll hear them you’ll hear them a mile away no problem just a trick of the foot.
Allan Whittaker, Frank Wigley
Cherry Tree Hospital
2007
