Yearby yearning

In the mirror I see a reflection in the glass
Looking growing yearby yearning
Time goes by

Time passing yearby year
Flowers slowly
Life suddenly

In the mirror
I see a reflection in the glass

Getting sad and old
Life slowly gone
Time passing
Suddenly tears have past

Eyes blue grey
Pale and small
Getting bluer
Going blind

My memory
Now my voice
Learning to talk + remember

Not sure I believe in angels
Maybe life could start again
Perhaps?

Summer sun
Growing yearby
Sand rain marred seeds growing
Ending
Growing

In the mirror
I see a reflection in the glass

Ending
Growing





Pauline Eaton
Oct 2006

photo copyright Lois Blackburn 2006

Seeing

Today, gathering to write a poem with a group for people with visual impairment. It's a rowdy group full of humour and argument, chaired in rascalish style by Vincent and Ann at Walthew House in Stockport. Although we hopped from discussing the smell of books tthrough to the potency of Spanish gin and many other diversions, the conversation crucially turned around ideas of blindness and learning to see our own attitudes towards it. It struck me over and over as we talked that the really dangerous blindness is in areas of thinking.

To live with a visual impairment needs a huge shift in thinking if you've been sighted. As Ann said, "First you need acceptance of your situation. Then comes acceptance of help."

And then of course, to be accepted by other people often requires a shift in their attitude too. I heard stories of everyday stupid intolerance, of men being ashamed to be seen guiding another man, of collisions with people who dont notice the white cane, and of a very sad rejection of one individual whose family simply were embarrassed by the blindness. But then there were the uplifts, the little moments of kindness. As one man said, "There's not a single time I go out onto that street that I don't get offered help."

It was a curious morning; to both laugh and be angered in the company of these friendly, welcoming strangers.

the jargon

Below is the poem we made with the group 'talking heads' at Walthew House. Walthew House http://www.walthewhouse.org.uk is an independent local charity supporting people in Stockport who are blind, visually impaired, Deaf or hard of hearing or who have dual sensory loss. We were made very welcome by the group, I learnt lots and look forward to hearing about the next session with the group (I'll be of on my maternity leave by then!)


the jargon

terminology:
I’m registered blind

the word blind is very final
people
get embarrassed by words
but I’ve always faced the world
blind
eyes of bone

some boys kicked
the stick out of my hand, said
“Now go look for it,” said
unacceptable words, not-PC
always interested me, the words
I am totally blind
a spade’s a spade
an indicator cane
a symbol
a guide cane to
measure from your foot to your breastbone

go through a grieving
lost vision
lost independence
grieving
lightsudden flewbird
go through a long time
the bitter twist fills a void
Blind Beggarman Pew always
bringing the black spot

language, jargon:
visually impaired

how small my disability
from the foot
to the top of the heart-bone
born blind:
went to schools for the blind
the sunshine homes
colours mix with words for me
anger with red traffic lights
what you can see and what I can’t is

I don’t get any older
in the shaving mirror.

Walthew House

Last Friday we had the wonderful opportunity to work with the group 'talking heads' at Walthew House. Walthew House http://www.walthewhouse.org.uk is an independent local charity supporting people in Stockport who are blind, visually impaired, Deaf or hard of hearing or who have dual sensory loss. 'Talking Heads' is a really welcoming group of people, of all ages and from all backgrounds, linked by their visual impairments. We where a group of 14, all of whom had fascinating insights into the discussion. I had prepared 2 pages of questions, but only managed to ask 4 of them! Phil wrote up notes from the conversation in a poetic form, which with the groups permission will be published on the internet, on paper and as spoken book, at a later date. Thanks again to all the members of 'Talking Heads' making us feels so welcome, we look forward to meeting with you again.