Showing posts with label death and dying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death and dying. Show all posts

Friday, 14 May 2010

Body and spirit


Interview with Reverend Brenda Lowe and Reverend Philip Winn


BL: Patients have so much time in hospital, time to think what's important. They often worry about what is going to happen when they get back to their home, worry they don't have the resources: 'I want God to help, but I don't know how to pray.' What I believe is so deep-seated, it's difficult to explain and many patients have that faith, we share faith and they feel like family.


PW: We see the difference between people who have hope and those who don't. There's peace there. Witnessing death makes it more real. Most people don't see death that often, but working in hospital...we see suffering.


BL: The attitude: is this suffering a punishment? I'm not sure if that's faith. These are times when people question God. It can be very positive, an opportunity to bring healing. A lady who was ill said to me 'I'm feeling very cross with God today.' We all feel that sometimes. People get guilty about it and they don't need to. People in the past had an unhealthy fear of God wielding a big stick. That's not God.


A lot of elderly people are ready to go, particularly when they've been widowed, want to be together again. They're ready, the emptiness, the loneliness, is within them. Then there are people who are in denial that their relative is old. A women who was ninety-two, her daughter was saying, 'She's giving up.' But the woman was ninety-two! Sometimes the family find it hard to let go... I find it very moving when a couple - one of them is dying - and they're sat holding hands - that's what love is.

PW: We ask: 'Are you able to share this person's life with us?' It gives us a picture that's not just the frail person in front of us. Research says people have a better end, a more peaceful end, with faith - and yes that would be our experience. It's the hope, death has no fears. Can't say people aren't frightened of dying - most people are frightened of dying- but it's the journey people are frightened of, not death itself.

BL: It amazes me always, people in their last moment when we give them their last rites. They respond when maybe they haven't responded to anyone for weeks. I've had people say 'Amen', or open their eyes. People become peaceful after being agitated. This week I gave the last rites to a women with very sticky eyes, she opened her eyes as wide as a child with a chocolate bar.

Death can be a great release for families. We can help people through the journey of grief. Us being there for the families in all sorts of situations. Maybe the relative is just not wanting to leave the person whose just died, or is looking for someone to blame. We help families deal with the burden, it's not a joy, but we can help. We talk them through the 'if only, if only' that can torture them. I remember a woman who couldn't leave the deathbed because of the guilt. Our role is often simply to tell those who are left behind: 'What you did was generous and right.'

PW: We can only do our best. I don't think we can have regrets. We're good at talking about things between ourselves so they don't become burdens. We know we have to minister to the next person who needs us, and that person may just be another phone call away and we need to function, and give them our best.

BL: We're good at talking to each other and good with the kettle. We believe we have a power that helps us in difficult situations. We never know what we are going to find behind the curtain round a patient's bed. We don't know what we're going to face. Got to find strength, praying as you go.


Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Palliative Care


Sister Debbie Smith interviewed

by Philip Davenport, at Bluebell Ward, The Meadows, Stockport, 2009.


Palliative is a very broad word: looking after someone when there is no longer a cure. Anything from two years to two days, a whole range. Palliation is based on care not cure – symptom control to let someone have the best quality of life. To me, it’s searching for the real person, trying to give them control of what’s happening. Their life is coming to an end. They need control if they know what’s happening and need to be given choices; if they don’t know it’s even more complex.


I chose to do this work 15 years ago. A holistic approach is the core - psychological, physical, spiritual – that’s the crux. People are not just a bag of symptoms or tests. Plus, they sit within a family and you talk about it all with an appropriate family member too.


What is a good death experience? In whose eyes, mine or the patient’s? You can make death appear comfy, distress-free, with drugs. But you can also go through this talking. It’s the patient’s experience, it’s their’s, their control. Yes there is such a thing as a good death, listen to what the patient wants. Perhaps my patient wants to go home. It’s not what I would want, but it’s good for him. His decision, his good death experience. Most people die in hospital, but they actually want to die at home and we should support that, recognise it. But the support needs to be there, the family need to be able to cope, or else it won’t be a good death because the family are left with the pain.


Giving a frame to the end of life, a plan of what to do. Providing for all sorts of needs. The end of life tools are important, planning is important. Liverpool Care Pathway is very good example. This area is improving all the time, money is going into it, people recognise it as an important part of care. We’ve all got to die.


This area is our speciality, this thin line between palliative care and long-term care, where you can still correct the correctable. We don’t think, “Oh they’ve gone palliative, we can’t treat them.” But we won’t go to the extremes of care they will in acute. Most people who come here have already gone through that system. We won’t go to the aggressive end of treatment because it’s upsetting to no good result. If someone’s got terminal cancer, say, we give comfort not cure.


It all depends on the patient. Often they don’t know they’re at the end of life, or they might not want to talk about it and you have to honour that. You reflect back, the patient takes the lead and you reflect back. They only go as far as they want, it’s very gentle. Are you the kind of person who likes all the details at once, or do you like a little, bit by bit? Most say the second. Explanation and listening are key. It’s the same with the relatives: “What do you know?” They might be anxious, frightened. They might not have been told much. Might’ve been told there’s more hope than there is. We actually have to tell the truth: “Your mum’s only got a few days.”


It’s definitely a journey, could’ve been going on for years. Many have had surgery, relapse, treatment, relapse, surgery, relapse. Then suddenly it all stops. We can only manage symptoms. Some people are very accepting, they don’t like it but they accept. Some people ask you to end it. Most talk openly to us about it, but they’re a bit more guarded with the families because they don’t want to upset them. We work closely with chaplains, volunteers, consultants – it’s a team effort. The staff can get upset too and we support each other.


We get sent ‘symptoms’ and we give them back their life for a time. We give them quality. They might have a few days when they can appreciate their family, their memories, their time. It depends on how you look on things; my cup is half full. At the end of life there’s a lot we can do. If it’s your last week of life and you sit out there with a cigarette and a beer, or you get to see your dog, you have a better life for that time.


It’s not all doom-gloom, we have a lot of fun here, a great atmosphere. There’s a man in here right now interested in perpetual motion and his wife’s brought all his stuff in, bolts and screws all over the floor. I don’t mind. People bring in takeaways. We had a bellydancer and one chap, his eyes nearly fell out of his head.


Communication keeps it all together. And it’s not what you say, but how. And it’s even more important what the patients say to you. Or what they don’t say; body language. Very often they lose eye contact if they’re scared. It’s opening a can of worms, but I always step in and talk about it.


Who copes? People who have had adversity – for instance, chaps in the war – people who have dealt with that cope. They seem to be more accepting. Sometimes people with a faith cope better. But beyond that, who can generalise? You’ve not dealt with this before, there’s no set rule. People who are well-informed and up to speed handle things better – they have control. If they can advance plan, they still feel it’s their life. People who have been kidded along or misled can’t get beyond anger and the whole thing is difficult to accept. More informed people have less damaging emotions to get over. Same with relatives, they don’t need to go through some collusion where no one talks about it, it’s more open.


There are myths about palliative care, that it must be miserable. It’s not, it’s an honour, a privilege. We have a lot of laughs, when it’s appropriate. I hope someone will be there for me like this, at the end of my life. There are a lot of myths about death itself, people think it’s scary, sinister, because we are a death-denying society. It’s denied, behind closed medical doors. People paint black pictures, but I think it’s becoming more open.


The right to die. I’m a member of Dignity – I think if you have an incurable illness, I think you should have a right to choose. Shouldn’t have to go to Switzerland or wherever. Also, that a family won’t get prosecuted. In Holland it’s physician assisted, in Switzerland people pick up the pill itself. But palliative care dying will create far less stress symptoms; someone can die with dignity if its done well, properly.


What have I learnt from all this? Can’t put it into words. What people have shown me is the fantastic dimensions to the human spirit. People never, ever cease to amaze me. It is a privilege to be there at someone’s death, and to do it properly you have got to give of yourself. It’s important to get it right. You only get one chance to do it right, or it stays with the relatives. Because the memory of those who have died lives on in us who are alive.













Wednesday, 31 March 2010



One of the delights of putting together a new collection- whether its for a book (as in this case) or an exhibition, is re-visiting and re-finding artwork. Here is an example I just found:

It is'nt the coffin
that carries you off
its the coffin they carry
you off in.....


a wonderfully naughty bit of re-labeling on an old medicine container.

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

parachute landing in jungle terrain



I’ve seen me whack
done me jumps
floating down Egypt Cyprus Malaya

that tattoo says in memory of Mitch
killed in Malay jungles
a tattoo that hurt me
I’ve killed and I’m not proud of it
(or they’d kill you
prisoner of war – whatcha gonna do?)

ever tried to pack a parachute?
bloody handfuls
like trying to get a bed into a pillow

they won’t let me out of here
told me straight I’m not for getting out
driven to die
very very very very
bored in the brain
so bored it’s ridiculous
bored to the ears

these wards are in lost time

landing in jungle terrain
we laugh
butterflies

what’ll we do after the war?
lost a lot of weight
don’t know if I’ll get a visitor
my wife died and I didn’t go to the funeral
I’d jump
to go as I want
even prisoners are allowed to
walk to the great door

parachute regiment I’d jump again tomorrow
you worry til it cracks out
cracks out open and you’re floating

down
down
down

Albert Burrows
Cherry Tree
2007

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

stages of grief: 1950



it’s the same a broken heart and physical pain

he died in front of me (talking one minute)
the pain in their face
you feel it
want to do
something and you can’t
the doctors said no

went cold head to toes
and you can’t get warm
when you’ve had a lovely husband
you feel it more

helping people helps
fills a gap fills what’s gone
sorry I never meant
to

break

you can let yourself go
and then you fade
sitting on ice days
not sleeping he died (talking one minute)
fade or you fight it
its always there
1950 as though it was last week as though

you cry alone
there all the time
even when I’m washing
up

a broken heart and physical pain though
everything shut
I put a bolt on the door
said: ‘There is no
good’ and then I was praying
it pulls it pulls
come back at night

come or you just
let your
self
go.

Anonymous
Cherry Tree
2009

Thursday, 28 January 2010

fade away nicely



my throat
waiting
very
very weak
discomfort
my throat
can’t swallow
not allowed
drink eat
all wires
through tube
tummy
can’t take anything
so sore
feel low
absolute
useless

you want to go to sleep the whole but can’t

can’t sleep
during day
night
give tablet
just to
go
no
energy
at all
throat
affects

feel you want to fade away fade away nicely

Violet Gamble
November 2008


Photo Violet Gamble © Lois Blackburn 2009

Yearby yearning



In the mirror I see a reflection in the glass
Looking growing yearby yearning
Time goes by

Time passing yearby year
Flowers slowly
Life suddenly

In the mirror
I see a reflection in the glass

Getting sad and old
Life slowly gone
Time passing
Suddenly tears have past

Eyes blue grey
Pale and small
Getting bluer
Going blind

My memory
Now my voice
Learning to talk + remember

Not sure I believe in angels
Maybe life could start again
Perhaps?

Summer sun
Growing yearby
Sand rain marred seeds growing
Ending
Growing

In the mirror
I see a reflection in the glass

Ending
Growing





Pauline Eaton
Oct 2006

photo copyright Lois Blackburn 2006

a robin red breast





A robin red breast
in a cage


Harry Wantling
2008

part of the Brackenhurst Collection

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Interview with Sister Julie Hopwood. Rehabilitation Ward, Cherry Tree Hospital

I knew what I wanted to do this right from leaving school. I wanted to be a nurse, and I wanted to work with older people. I had always had a great affinity with my grandmothers and older adults. I knew it was a Cinderella Service, but I felt prepared to meet the challenge. I did an A-level pre-health course at Stockport College. At eighteen I started my nurse training at Withington Hospital. As a newly qualified staff nurse I went to Barnes Hospital and did stroke care. I was fortunate, and became a ward sister within a short period of time here at Stockport. I hope my early appointment was attributed to my enthusiasm and drive to make a difference in this area of care.


I started my job as a ward sister at the same time as a newly appointed charge nurse. It was a good partnership. We had both been trained in the South Manchester at same school of nursing. The ward had both the benefit of a male and female perspective. Together we made changes – nurses were encouraged to owned the care they gave. We allocated specific nurses to specific people – it encouraged a deeper relationship – if you look after somebody day after day, you don’t just talk about the weather, you talk about real issues and what concerns them. Care needs to be personal and individual to give the greatest benefit. People think older peoples medicine is about incontinence and dementia. It’s not. It’s about adults who are ill – often with combinations of illness and complex care needs. We should adjust our ideas because people now stay well longer. We are more likely to give elderly care in all specialities of the healthcare. Care of the future cannot discriminate against age.


We offer dignity and respect, by discussing and offering patient’s options. It’s about control, offering choice, giving the patient control. Even as simple as: “ Do you want to wear this, or this?” At one time you did what the doctor ordered. Now, you get options, you are still an adult, not a lesser person because you’re elderly.


Older people have amazing life experiences. They’re an interesting group to work with. They saw the world when it was a different place. You can also ask the question: when are you old? A 65 year old can have an ‘older’ outlook than a 90 year old who is a fighter and has lasted through many changes in life. There was a lady I looked after who described how she used to chew the bed-sheets at night when she was a child, because she went to bed so hungry as a consequence of living in poverty with a very large family. How different times are now. Now we look after elderly people who carry mobile phones!


Even in my time of being a nurse, I’ve seen changes in care. If you were a patient with incontinence, you had to wear a pad and particular adapted clothing, almost a uniform. Pain management – now instead of injections, we have patches that absorb into the skin. We also have a more positive attitude towards death. With good management, you can have a good death experience, pain controlled, nausea managed, psychologically supported.


In elderly care, we assess for scales of depression, which can affect recovery – if you come in here thinking you’re going to die, it doesn’t help recovery. We discuss the need to use antidepressants if a low mood is identified. Lack of motivate hinders the recovery process. Treatment with antidepressants though may take two or three weeks to start a therapeutic effect and that can impact on the length of stay in hospital. The emphasis now is to get people out of the hospital as quickly as possible once they are medically fit.

The focus in rehabilitation has changed. It used to be non-acute care or convalescence in a hospital setting. Once rehabilitation patients were medically fit but frail and in need of therapy in a hospital setting. Now rehabilitation aims to happen out of hospital; in your own home, or in an intermediate placement at a residential home. Decisions about discharge destinations for rehabilitation are usually made considering night time safety and social circumstances. Hospitals are going to struggle with meeting care needs in the future as our population grows if it does not do things differently. Hospital stays aim to be about acute care, you come here if you are medically unwell and are in need of active medical intervention that cannot be met in the community.


Florence Nightingale said hospital should do you no harm. But if you put sick people together, you put them at risk. At home you are safer, if you can self-care. If people self-catheterise, they’re less likely to get infection. Same with self-care of emphysema, the emphasis now is training people to recognise they’re getting ill and to treat themselves with readily available steroids and antibiotics, so they don’t come into hospital and get recurrent infections. Kids with diabetes learn to monitor their own insulin levels.

Infection control is a big issue. We’re making advances in cleaning skin. Washing hands between patients, sterile gloves and aprons. There’s a lot of hand-washing. We wash hands before and after each person. But constantly hand-washing can make your hands dry and crack – which in turn carries risk of infection – so you need to moisturise hands too. Our hands are the tools of our trade so we have to look after them!

We use colour-coding: aprons are green for food, blue for dressings, yellow if a patient is infected, and white for general use. The mops and buckets are all colour-coded too to use in separate areas of the ward. Simple systems make a difference.


The public have been frightened by the news coverage of increasing numbers of MRSA and Clostridium Difficile in hospital settings. If you were to get on a bus full of everyday folk, a high percentage would have MRSA on their skin. That isn’t a problem as they are fit and well individuals. MRSA has a greater impact on un-well individuals especially those in hospital. Patients can become infected with the organism as a consequence of passing the skin barrier at wound dressing, catheterisation and cannulation and so hand washing and asepsis is vital practise.


Then there’s the bowel infection Clostridium Difficile, which is usually antibiotic induced. If you are frail and you’ve taken certain or multiple courses of antibiotics then you are susceptible to this infection. The antibiotics can destroy the good flora in your gut and the dormant toxin present in your gut can takeover giving you the drug induced colitis and subsequent diarrhoea which is clostridium difficile. This infection could then contribute further to increased frailty and an increased length of stay in hospital.


It’s about being human, coming into hospital. You are faced with your frailties. You’re the new kid at school again. You want someone to show you round, make you welcome. We’re preparing your journey, whatever it is. We have a duty of care and we try to engage family and friends too, for help. It’s not just about us who are the carers or experts in care. The family contribution is vital, as they know the particular person and how they behave when they are well. If they are concerned about something, I seek a medical review. They can’t necessarily say what is troubling them about the state of their relative, but they have a perception and it should be taken seriously, not dismissed because they aren’t professionals. Working together with the family unit is important to achieve the best outcome for the patient.


Complaints shouldn’t be dismissed either. They shouldn’t be seen in a negative light, because they help us to improve our service when we get it wrong. We are all human and capable of getting it wrong sometimes; as the saying goes “By the grace of God there go I”. If we don’t reflect, review and change, then we’ll make the same mistakes over and over again.


Who deals with hospital best? It is hard to say. Some people present well, but they will not share their experiences – they could be anxious or depressed. Men especially try to put on a brave face. You could line up five people with the same illness and they’d all present differently. It’s about how people deal with it, there’s not a right fix for everyone.


Accident and Emergency focus on illness first, but in rehabilitation we need to consider the physical, psychological, spiritual, social aspects. We determine how you were living before your illness, what are achievable goals, what goals are too big. People sometimes get disappointed if they measure themselves against others. But we are all different and can respond differently according to our life conditioning.

The physical and mental are interlocked. Some people believe that faith helps them. But you can also turn that on its head. Others see illness as a punishment from God.


Motivation and following instruction has a lot to do with recovery. I cared for a man who had a stroke, a bad one. By his motivation, his diligence, he recovered more than he ‘should’ have done. And the converse can happen. If a stroke damages part of the brain that affects understanding and you can’t follow instructions, then your recovery isn’t going to be as good. You also have people getting aggressive towards staff because of misunderstandings. If a nurse is doing something to you that you don’t understand, then you defend yourself. And that can get you labelled as difficult, or disturbed… If you have a diagnosis of dementia, people tend to stand back from you. But dementia doesn’t necessarily bring behaviour difficulties.


For staff, is it possible to have compassion, fatigue, burn-out? I’ve had burnout because I care passionately about what I do and understand my responsibility as a registered nurse and ward manager. I often stay after hours if the service requires it for a better patient outcome or to ensure management goals are met. But sometimes it does become expected that you will stay on and sometimes you have to draw a line that you balance your work and home life. Care can fluctuate at the end of shift, so you might stay on if you have the skills others haven’t. I’m the manager of the ward, so I need to have an overview of all the ward issues to lead effectively. I need support and good communication from the ward staff. I ask for feedback on their workload & how the shift was, to enable me to delegate appropriately & protect them from fatigue and risk of injury. I try to be fair & balanced with my decision making but I am mindful that we have to meet the service needs.


You’ve got to get a team that works well together – a 24 hour service. People cannot be left packed up in bed with incontinence pads. A pressure sore only takes a couple of hours to develop. You can’t sit and read or knit – you’re being paid to be a nurse. You are always on the go assessing, anticipating and meeting patients care needs.


If you’re a patient with dementia, you might need the prompt of sitting at a table with others in order to eat. People coming together makes them interact. People with dementia in that situation will perhaps pick up knives and forks when otherwise they might not have done if left to themselves. New wards are designed for bed to chair existence with no dayroom or dining facilities. This is the design for acute care and not rehabilitation. Almost like battery nursing on a conveyor belt- quick in quick out. Time will tell if this new design will change to again encourage patients to interact.


People need to understand their illness – for instance, a stroke is not a quick fix. They need a strategy, things to occupy them, to entertain them. Everyone is individual in this, recovery time is individual. And even their personal coping strategies have to change – using same coping strategy repeatedly doesn’t work. The family can help get people re-engaged into the community. Going out into the grounds in a wheelchair, go for a drive with your family. Achievable goals must be given to motivate recovery. Prognosis & progress should be discussed honestly. You have the right to the information first, if it’s about you.


We all become vulnerable at some time in our lives. This might be for physical, or mental, reasons. Or it might be emotional, a relationship break-up for instance. We hear a lot about ‘vulnerable adults’ and we have changed our practice because of that.


Changes always come, turning what we previously knew on its head. Nursing changes, it spirals, moving on. We should take the good with us, looking always with new eyes.


Interview with Philip Davenport, 2nd September 2009

Thursday, 6 August 2009

Terminally ill and suicidal

I've just finished listening to a fascinating program on the radio: 'Inside the Ethics Committee', entitled Terminally Ill and Suicidal

Phil and I have been wanting to create some work on the emotive subject of death, dying and Palliative care with older people, for the PATIENCE project, so it was a timely and very informative program.

In it Joan Bakewell discusses the real-life case of Mary, a terminally-ill woman in her 80s. She has considered her condition and has decided that she wants to die.

If you missed it and want to listen again, or find out more about the subject matter, you can by following this link http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00lvgwj

Thursday, 25 June 2009

to try

In the UK, breast cancer is the most common type of cancer among women. Approximately 45,000 cases of breast cancer are diagnosed every year, usually in women who are over 50 years of age and who have reached menopause. However, it is possible for women of any age to be affected by breast cancer and, in rare cases, the condition can also affect men. NHS Choices http://www.nhs.uk/


to try


if you can get home I’ll be ok
can’t do it yet
takes time
hard
it’s hard
connection to outside
(I’m on my own back home)
to
try and take it easy
to try and do it yourself
my daughter she’s hurting
crying
got to do it in your own time
do it
she’s trying but hurting; at times
it hurts but you have to do it yourself
got to try
don’t cry
cancer 17 years ago
(consultant)
keeps saying there’s something there
try to tell him - there’s nothing
she was crying
don’t cry
don’t cry
doesn’t hurt
there’s something there
but it doesn’t hurt
its there, it won’t go
but I’m better
breast cancer
they’re hurting
they’re all hurting
the mastectomy
I don’t let it hurt me
I’m not going to die
not yet
not yet
I’ll just fuzzle it up
It’s there even at night
don’t let it
hurt you
let it go
let it go
something there, but let it go
nothing
this breast fine
it’s only that one
don’t get upset
don’t get upset
it doesn’t help
doesn’t help
takes time but you get better
eventually
cry at night
but I don’t show it
don’t let them see it
don’t show it
keep it to me
I know it’s there

Mary Mitchell
June 2009

Monday, 22 June 2009

importance





Hallucinations, mainly of a visual nature, are considered to affect about one-quarter of patients with Parkinson's disease. They are commonly viewed as a side-effect of antiparkinsonian treatment, but other factors may be involved.' 'BRAIN a Journal of Neurology' http://brain.oxfordjournals.org/

importance

a box of chocolates
a little boy running back
down the ward
to say goodbye to grandfather
remembrance

(in here it’s)

waiting, all this waiting
captured, a refugee, loss of furniture, loss of house
you can’t make a bed a home
I don’t want to be unconscious
in their presence


(in here it’s nice)

hallucinations come with the pills
enjoy them, visitors are medicine
taking the mind to some other place
if you don’t have a dream
you’ll never have a dream come true

(in here, it’s nice a little)

uncertainty is my home
a lost person, a dispossessed person
you don’t feel the bed is yours
I’m interested in life
I’m having to change my life

(in here it’s nice, a little bit, but)

waiting to die it seems
spend the day getting the button right
getting the zip right
learning to
walk


Raymond West and Mary Mitchell
11 June 2009

Thursday, 4 June 2009

many thing


many thing

I know full well we’ll never leave this place
there’s a law in chemistry that says
you can never create or destroy matter, no matter
if they cremate or bury – your remains
will become part of the strata of the rains
and winds will blow you across
the face of the agnostic earth
you the atoms cannot be destroyed
will be here doubting Thomas for millions of years

perhaps we are all the figment of someone

don’t need to dig down if you
drop by a graveyard
the bacteria come up to become
more stars in the sky than there are
grains of sand in the
oceans are not burning
me it’s an overcoat for your spirit:
do I believe in anything, do
I believe in many things?

(I never go to bed ‘til I’ve said me prayers at night:
whisper that)


David Smith, Harry Wantling, Phyllis Hollinshead, Hilda Hewitt
2007


Living with death and dying

An enormous diversity exists in the way people view and approach death and dying. This diversity continues to be evident when people are faced with the knowledge that their own death is approaching. There is no standard, correct or even best way of dying. Yet there is a concept of a ‘good death’ … Consider the following statements about what might constitute a good death. What would you most like for yourself?

• I want to die in my own home
• I want to die in a hospice cared for by people who understand how to make me comfortable
• I want to have someone religious with me at the moment of death, praying for me
• I would hate to be on public view and want to have privacy
• I want to die quickly
• I want the opportunity to say good-bye to my family
• I would hate to live to be very old
• I want to live to a good age, as long as I have my faculties
• I want to die in my sleep and know nothing about it
• I don't want to die in pain
• I want to die in solitude
• I want to be ready when the time comes
• I want to be with other people on an open ward, and not hidden away
• I want to be very alert, even if this means being in some pain
• I want to be ready and accept death when it comes
• I want to be able to die as the person I am and be accepted for that, even if I’m angry, or in denial
• I don’t want anyone religious around, nor do I want any religious ideas expressed
• I want to be able to plan my own funeral.

See also The Good Death, an essay by Mary Bradbury at

http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/file.php/1621/The%20Good%20Death.pdf

Sources: Learning Space, the Open University website

image 'couldn't see the sun for a week' anon 2007